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THE FOUR ABSOLUTES





ABSOLUTE HONESTY: Both with

ourselves and with others, in

word, deed and thought.



ABSOLUTE UNSELFISHNESS:

To be willing wherever

possible to help others who

need our help.



ABSOLUTE LOVE: "Thou shalt

love the Lord thy God with all

thy heart, and with all thy

soul, and with all thy mind.

And . . . Thou shalt love thy

neighbor as thyself."



ABSOLUTE PURITY: Purity of

mind, of body and of purpose.



The Four Absolutes of the Oxford Group As Applied to the AA Program

Foreword



Spelled out as such, the Four Absolutes are not a formal part of our

AA philosophy. Since this is true, some may claim the Absolutes

should be ignored. This premise is approximately as sound as it

would be to suggest that the Holy Bible should be scuttled.



The Absolutes were borrowed from the Oxford Group Movement back in

the days when our society was in its humble beginning. In those days

our founders and their early colleagues were eamestly seeking for

any and all sources of help to define and formulate suggestions that

might guide us in the pursuit of a useful, happy and significant

sober life.



Because the Absolutes are not specifically repeated in our Steps and

Traditions, some of us are inclined to forget them. Yet in May old

time groups where the solid spirit of our fellowship is so strongly

exemplified, the Absolutes receive frequent mention. Indeed, you

often find a set of old placards, carefully preserved, which are

trotted out for prominent display each meeting night.



There could be unanimity on the proposition that living our way of

live must include not only an awareness, but constant striving

toward greater achievement in the qualities which the Absolutes

represent. Many who have lost the precious gift of sobriety would

ascribe to carelessness in seeking these objectives. If you revisit

the Twelve Steps with care, you will find the Four Absolutes form a

thread, which is discernible in a sober life of quality every step

of the glorious journey.



THE ABSOLUTES



We walked into this larger group of which we had heard of so much,

but had never attended. From the Vestibule we saw a placard on the

comer of the far wall, which said "Easy Does It." We turned left to

park our coat. We turned back and there on the other comer of the

same wall was a twin placard, which said, "First Things First." Then

facing to the front of the room, high above the platform we saw in

the largest letters of all, "But For the Grace of God." Then as our

eyes descended, there directly on the front of the Podium was

another four words, "Honesty, Unselfishness, Purity, and Love."



In the next ten minutes as we sat unnoticed in the last row waiting

for the meeting to start, many thoughts tumbled through a mind that

was really startled by this first face to face meeting with the four

Absolutes for a very long time.



We started to grade ourselves fearlessly on our own progress toward

these absolutes, through long years of sobriety. The score was a

pitiful, lonely little score. We thought of a find lead recently

heard in which a patient humble brother had told his story, and had

mentioned his overwhelming sense of gratitude as an important part

of his fifteen years of sobriety.



And in listing things for which he was so grateful, he mentioned how

comfortable it was to be completely honest. Certainly he meant

nothing prideful. He simply means that he told his wife and friends

the truth as best he could, had no fishy stories to reconcile, was

honest with money and material things, etc.



This was a truly grateful, humble fellow. Certainly he did not

resemble the man pictured in the Cartoon, speaking to a larger

audience, pounding on the table and with a jutting chin proclaiming

that he had more humility than anyone there and could prove it.But

think of "complete honesty". It is not the eternal search for truth,

which is endless, and in which none achieve perfection.



What do the four Absolutes mean to most of us? Words are tools. Like

any other tools they get rusty and corroded when not used. More

importantly we must familiarize ourselves with the tools, understand

them and ever improve our skill in their use. Else the end product,

if any, is pathetically poor.



We thought of a dear friend in the fellowship prone like other

alcoholics to move quickly from one hobby or interest to another,

without really doing much of any of them. (Does that sound like

someone you know?) Once this friend decided that working with his

hands would solve some problems, quiet his nerves and perhaps help

him to achieve serenity and balance.



So he reviewed an impressive collection of tool catalogues working

with friends already addicted to the woodworking hobby.



He bought a large expensive collection of tools, and a lot of

equipment. He hired a carpenter to build a shop in his basement,

install the equipment, and make custom-built racks to house the

tools. But in the end not one shaving and not one tiny bit of

sawdust graced its floor. The idle tools serve just as well to keep

our friend occupied when he doesn't go to meetings, do Twelfth Step

work or engage in other happy AA activity.



How many of you will be completely hones and admit that you have put

the four Absolutes in the attic, a little rusty from non-use

perhaps, but non of the worse for wear?.? Give or take a little, how

many of us who still maintain the workshop for the Absolutes, will

admit that not too many of our shavings or much sawdust from our

activity have ever graces its floor. Or even assuming that the

activity has persisted, how many will admit that the end product did

not win a prize for its quality.



Such a lack of quality can only mean lack of objectives or lack of

all-out effort toward such objectives. We must recognize the

Absolutes are guideposts to the finest and highest objectives to

mortal man. But recognition is not enough. We must use the tools.



HONESTY



Over and over we must ask ourselves: "Is it true or is it False?"

For honesty is the etemal search for truth. It is by far the most

difficult of the four Absolutes, for anyone, but especially for us

in this fellowship. The problem drinker develops genuine artistry

inv deceit. Too many (and we plead guilty) simply turn over a new

leaf and relax. That is wrong. The real virtue in honesty lies in

the persistent dedicated striving for it. There is no relaxed

twilight zone, its either full speed ahead constantly or it's not

honesty we seek. And the unrelenting pursuit of truth will set you

free, even if you don't quite catch up to it. We need not choose or

pursue falsity. All we need is to relax our pursuit of truth and

falsity will find us.



The search for truth is the noblest expression of the soul. Let a

human throw the engines of his soul into the doing or making of

something good, and the instinct of workmanship alone will take care

of his honesty. The noblest pleasure we can have is to find a great

new truth and discard an old prejudice. When not actively sought,

truth seldom comes to light, but falsehood does. Truth is life and

falsity is spiritual death. It's an evelasting, unrelenting instinct

for truth that counts. Honesty is not a policy. It has to be a

constant state of mind.



Accuracy is close to being a twin brother to honesty, but inaccuracy

and exaggeration are at least "kissing cousins" of dishonesty. We

may bring ourselves to believe almost anything by rationalizing,

(another of our fine ads), and so it's well to begin and end our

inquiry with the question, "Is it true?" Any Man who loves to search

for truth is precious to any fellowship or society. Any intended

violation of honesty stabs the health of not only the doer but also

the whole fellowship. On the other hand if we are honest to the

limit of our ability, the basic appetite for truth in others, which

may be dormant but not dead, will rise

majestically to join us. Like sobriety, it's the power of example

that does the job.



It is much simpler to appear honest, than to be honest. We must

strive to be in reality what we appear to be. It is easier to be

honest with others than with ourselves. Our searching self-

inventories help because the man who knows himself is at least on

the doorstep of honesty. When we try to enhance our stature in the

eyes of others, dishonesty is there in the shadows. When falsehood

even creeps in, we are getting back on the merry-go-round because

falsehoods not only disagree with the truth, they

quarrel with each other. Remember?.?



It is one thing to devoutly wish that the truth may be on your side,

and it quite another to wish sincerely to be on the other side of

the truth. Honesty would seem to be the toughest of our four

Absolutes, and at the same time, the most exciting challenge. Our

Sobriety is a gift, but honesty is a grace that we must eam and

constantly fight to protect and enlarge. "Is it true or false?" Let

us make that a ceaseless question that we try to answer with all the

sober intelligence we have.



UNSELFISHNESS



At first blush, unselfishness would seem to be the simplest of all

to understand, define and accomplish. But we have a long road to

travel because ours was a real mastery of the exact opposite during

our drinking days.



A little careful thought will show that unselfishness in its finest

sense, the kind for which we must strive in our way of live, is not

easy to reach or describe in detail. In the final analysis, it must

gain for us the selfishness, which is our spiritual cornerstone, the

real significance of our anonymity.



Proceeding with the question method of digesting the absolute, we

suggest your ask yourself over and over again in judging what you

are about to do, say, think, or decide. "How will this affect the

other fellow?"



Our unselfishness must include not merely that which we do for

others, but that which we do for ourselves. I once heard an old-

timer say that this was a 100% selfish program in one respect,

namely that we had to maintain our own sobriety and its quality

before we could possibly help other in a maximum degree. Yet we know

that we must give of ourselves to others in order to maintain our

own sobriety, in a spirit of complete selflessness with no thought

of reward. How do we put these two things together?.Well for one

thing, it points up that we shall gain in direct proportion to the

real help we give others. How many of us make hospital calls simply

because we think we need to do it to stay sober?. Those who think

only of their own need and who reflect little on the question- of

doing the fellow at the hospital some genuine good- are missing the

boat. We know for we used to make hospital calls in much the same

way that we took vitamin pills.



Then one day in our eady sobriety, we were asked to call on a female

patient. There weren't enough gals to go around in those days and

the men were called in to help. Never will we forget the anxiety on

the way to that nursing home. And after neary two hours of earnest

talk we left one of the noblest women we will ever meet, worded

about whether we had helped, or hurt, or perhaps had accomplished

nothing at all. Some of her questions stayed with us. We thought of

better answers later on, and

returned to see her several times. We are helped on our long journey

to unselfishness by our great mission of understanding, which

sometimes seems as precious as the gift of sobriety itself. But the

quality cannot be confined alone to that which we do for others. We

must be unselfish even in our pursuits of self- preservation. Not

the least of our aid to others comes from the examples of our own

lives.



Is there any protection against that first drink which equals our

thought of what it may do to others, those whose unselfish love

guided us in the beginning, and those whom we in turn guided later

on? We are again reminded of the lat verse of an anonymous poem. "1

must remember as I go Though sober days, both high and low, What I

must always seem to be For him who always follows me.



LOVE



We often learn more by questions, than by answers. Did you ever hear

a question that caused you to think for days or even weeks? The

questions which have no easy answer are often the key to the truth.

However, in this series on the four Absolutes, we are concerned with

the questions we should be asking ourselves over and over again in

life.



The integrity of our answers to these questions will determine the

quality of our life, may even determine the continuance of our

sobriety.



A good question to ask ourselves on love might be, "Is it ugly or is

it beautiful?" We are experts on ugliness. We have really been

there. We are not experts on beauty but we have tasted a little, and

we are hungry for more. Love is beauty. Coming from the depths of

fear, physical agony, mental torture and spiritual starvation, we

feel completely unloved, impregnated with self-pity, poisoned by

resentment, and devoured by a prideful ego which with alcohol has

brought complete blindness. We receive understanding and love from

strangers and we make progress as we in turn give it to new

strangers. It's as simple

as that. Fortunately for us love is inspiring from the very

beginning, even in kindergarten, which is where many of us still are.



The old song tells us that love is a many-splendored thing. In

giving it we receive it. But the joy of receiving can never match

the real thrill of giving. Consider that this great mission of love,

which is ours, is seldom experienced by the non-alcoholic, and you

have a new reason for gratitude. Few are privileged to save lives.

Fewer have the rich experience of being God's helper in the gift of

a second life. Love is a poor man's beginning toward God. We reach

our twelfth step when we give love to the new man who is poor today,

as we were poor yesterday. A man too proud to know he is poor, has

turned away from God with or without alcohol. We have been there

too. But if he has a drinking problem, we can show him the way

through love, understanding and our own experience.



When we live for our own sobriety, we again become beggars in

spiritual rags, blind once again with the dust of pride and self.

Soon we shall be starving with the hunger of devouring ourselves,

perhaps even lose sobriety, Love is "giving of yourself" and unless

we do, our progress will be lost. Each one owes the gift of this

second life of sobriety to every other human being he meets in the

ceaseless presence of God, and especially to other alcoholics who

still suffer. Not to give of himself brings the desolation of a new

poverty to the sober alcoholic.



When we offer love, we offer our life; are we prepared to give it?

When another offers us love, he offers his life; have we the grace

to receive it? When love is offered, God is there; have we received

Him. The will to love is God's will; have we taken the Third Step?

Ask yourself, "Is this ugly or is it beautiful?" If it's truly

beautiful then it is the way of love, it is the way of A.A., and it

is the will of God as we understand Him.



PURITY



Purity is simple to understand. Purity is flawless quality. Gerard

Groot in his famous fourteenth century book of meditation, has an

essay entitled, "Of Pure Mind and Simple Intention", in which he

says, "By two wings a man is lifted up from things earthly, namely

by Simplicity and Purity. Simplicity doth tend towards God; Purity

doth apprehend and taste Him."



Purity is a quality of both the mind and the head, or perhaps we

should say the soul of a man. As far as the mind is concerned, it is

a simple case of answering the question, "Is right, or is it wrong?"

That should be easy for us. There is no twilight zone between right

and wrong. Even in our drinking days we knew the difference. With

most of us, knowing the difference was the cause or part of the

cause of our drinking. We did not want to face the reality of doing

wrong. It isn't in the realm of the mental aspects of purty that our

problem lies. We can all answer the question quoted above to the

best of our ability and get the correct answer.



It's in the realm of the heart and spirit that we face difficulty.

We know which is right, but do we have the dedicated will to do it?

Just as a real desire to stop drinking must exist to make our way of

life effective for us, so we must have a determined desire to do

that which we know is right, if we are to achieve any measurable

degree of purity. It has been well said that intelligence is

discipline. In other words knowledge means little until it goes into

action. We knew we should not take the first drink, remember?. Until

we translate our knowledge into the action of our own lives, the

value of it is non-existent. We are not intelligent under such

circumstances. So it is with the decency of our lives. We know what

is right, but unless we do it, the knowledge is a haunting vacuum.



In discussing unselfishness we mentioned that it includes more than

just doing for others. We repeat that it includes all that we do,

since much of our help to others comes through our own example.

Nowhere is this more true than in the decency and rightness of our

life. Were we to contemplate the peace and contentment that a pure

conscience would bring to us, and the joy and help that it would

bring to others, we would be more determined about our spiritual

progress. If our surrender under the Third Step has not been

absolute, perhaps we should give the Eleventh Step more attention.

If you have turned your will and your life over to God as you

understand Him, purity will come to you in due course because God is

Good. Let us not just tend toward God, let us taste of him.



In Purity as in Honesty the virtue lies in our striving. And like

seeking the truth, giving our all in its constant pursuit, will make

us free even though we may never quite catch up to it. Such pursuit

is a thrilling and challenging journey. The journey is just as

important as the destination, however slow it may seem. As Goethe

says: 'in living as in knowing be intent upon the purest way."