Yuku free message boards

It is my belief that we have a body disfunction that doesn't allow us to metabolize alcohol like normal people. It says so in the Big Book. I can't have a craving unless I pick up the drug and use it or taste it. It is an inanimate object until such a time as I injest it. The craving happens when I take one, and want more. I can think about it, but that is the mental obsession. Much of my life was thinking and projecting into the future about what was going to happen at 5 p.m., on the weekend, on pay day, etc. That is not a craving. For me, a craving is the desire to have more. I can't have that feeling unless I pick up that first one. That is why one is too many, and a thousand isn't enough.

I also look at it as a dis-ease. I was always at dis-ease with myself, always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better. It didn't matter if it was work, food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, money, religion, etc. Anything to release that unrest within me, anything to shut off the feelings and allow me to look outward instead of inward.

When the inside matched the outside, I no longer had to pick up and escape me!